


Guns For Hands

by floralnarry (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gangs, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 20,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/floralnarry
Summary: Harry just had a really shitty day. And if he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol it shouldn’t bother anyone. But it did.It did bother someone. Or the one where Harry accidentally ends up in a gang





	1. return the favour

Harry just had a really shitty day. And if he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol it shouldn’t bother anyone. 

But it did.

It did bother someone.

“What the hell are you staring at?” The sentence breaks Harry’s train of thought. He focuses his eyes on what - or rather who - he’d been staring at. A man with a scowl on his face. The man thinks he’s attractive, but Harry’s not attracted to him.

He doesn’t say anything.

“Are you one of those little fags?”

He isn’t a goddamn fag.

Harry stands up so quickly it startles the other guy. His fist is clenched by his side and ready to punch. He is literally seething.

But so is the other guy.

The thing is, Harry can’t fight to save his life. He is absolutely worthless at it. One time he picked a fight with a guy who was smaller than him. But he punched him square in the face and made his nose bleed. And Harry just gave up.

But the alcohol has got him pumped right now.

So he swings his clenched fist at the man. But the man moves away and Harry misses his face, punching at air. But then there is a fist in _his_ face and he stumbles backwards.

With one hand he grabs his face and with the other the bar to steady himself. Then he realizes they’re in a pub and people are just letting them do this. Then again, he is in the dodgy party of London. They’re probably used to this here.

He looks up again to see the man smirking at him. Harry is readying himself to try and throw another punch, but someone beats him to it. And the punch is so forceful that the man falls down and doesn’t immediately get back up.

“You looked like you need some help there.” Harry looks up to find a guy around his age smirking at him. He’s got black hair and eyes like smoldering fire. Harry isn’t sure if he should feel intimidated or thankful.

“Thanks, I guess,” he mutters.

“No need for gratitude,” the guys says with a lopsided smile. “Just return the favour.”

Harry doesn’t know what that means. What could this guy possibly want from him? If he wants him to punch a guy for him, then he is completely out of his mind. It’s safe to say Harry can’t punch to save his life.

But he doesn’t give Harry the time to ask.

“I’m Cleaver,” he says.

Harry snorts and he probably shouldn’t try and piss of the guy. “Is that your real name?”

“No, it’s not.” Oh.

“I’m H-”

“I don’t need to know your name.” He hands Harry a piece of paper. “Be there at one pm sharp. Don’t bother not showing up. We’ll know where to find you.”

Harry wants to ask who ‘we’ is, but then he sees the group of people standing behind Cleaver and he understands. There must be about ten of them.

He feels slightly terrified at the sight of the group. He is immensely outnumbered and even the girls look like they could beat him up in a second.

He nods at Cleaver. “Good,” he replies with a smirk on his face and then leaves the pub with his group hot on his heels, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.


	2. no choice

Harry contemplates about not going. He doesn’t know these people. The guy punched someone for him, that doesn’t mean he owes him anything. Anyone could have punched the guy for him. He could have punched the guy himself.

But there is something about Cleaver that makes Harry terrified of him. It’s not that he only looks intimidating with his lopsided smirk and his leather jacket, but it’s also the way he speaks. He’s got so much confidence in himself and Harry believed him when he said that they’d know where to find him.

So maybe it’s better if he goes. Just get it over with and then he never has to see the guy again. Once it’s over, he won’t have to fear for his life because he is sure Cleaver would be able to end it if he wanted to. And he probably would if Harry doesn’t show up.

So that’s how Harry finds himself in front of a dodgy flat in an even dodgier part of London. He doesn’t know what to expect from this and his heart is beating loudly in his chest as he rings the doorbell. For a second he thinks it doesn’t work, but then he hears it echoing on the other side of the door.

It takes so long for someone to open the door that he almost turns around and leaves. Just when he’s about to, the door does open and a red haired girl is revealed. She looks at him unimpressed, her hands folded over her chest. “You’re seven minutes late.”

“You left me waiting for seven minutes,” Harry bites back. He probably shouldn’t do it, but he can’t help himself.

The girl raises her eyebrows at him. “You’re feisty.”

She doesn’t wait for a reply, just turns around and walks back inside. Harry isn’t sure whether to follow her or not, but he does so anyway. She walks up a staircase of which Harry is scared that it might break underneath the weight of them both. Once they reach the upper level, she goes for the only door. She opens it to reveal a flat bigger than Harry expected.

When he walks in, he almost immediately bumps into a dining table that houses at least eight seats. To his left is a kitchen that doesn’t look like it gets regularly cleaned and behind the table there is a tv and several couches. On his right is a hallway that he supposes leads to the bedrooms.

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

Harry snaps his head in the direction of the voice. Cleaver is sitting at the dining table with a lot of papers spread in front of him and a few bottles of beer laying around. Next to him is a guy who doesn’t seem too pleased with Harry’s arrival.

“I didn’t think I had a choice,” Harry replies and he hopes his tone lets Cleaver know that he isn’t okay with all of this.

“You don’t,” Cleaver replies calmly, a small smile forming on his face. “I just thought I would have to use violence to get you here.”

The guy next to Cleaver is now grinning too and Harry suspects it’s at the mere thought of being able to use violence against him.

“What do you want from me?” Harry asks when Cleaver doesn’t provide him any further information. He’s here now, he’s here to return to favour. He wants to get this over with as quickly as possible so he never has to see them again.

Cleaver taps his finger against a brown package that’s also on the table. “I want you to deliver this.”

Harry snorts. “What is that? Drugs?” he says sarcastically. 

Cleaver looks at him unimpressed. “Yes,” is his simple answer.

“No way,” Harry says. He isn’t planning on engaging in illegal activities, get busted and end up in jail. He knows his life pretty much sucks right now, but it doesn’t have to suck even harder. “I enjoy my freedom, no thank you. You can find someone else to be your drug courier.”

Cleaver doesn’t seem to be fazed. He merely smiles at Harry. “I told you before you don’t actually have a choice.” Then he sits up straighter and he looks more sympathetically at Harry. “That’s why I want you to do it, so we won’t get busted. You look innocent enough, the police won’t suspect anything. They know us, we’d get busted. This guy is a really important client, so we can’t fuck up.”

Harry thinks it over, but like Cleaver said, he doesn’t really have a choice. So he keeps quiet, but that’s enough confirmation for Cleaver. He smiles widely. “That’s great,” he says. “Besides, you won’t be alone. You’ll have Kaya to accompany you.”

Harry looks to his right, where the red haired girl is still standing. She has a porcelain like face with big green eyes and red full lips. Her red hair is long and falls in soft waves over her back. She looks innocent enough, too.

“Let’s get going, Odin,” Cleaver says and Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“My name isn’t Odin-” 

“I know. It is now.” Cleaver turns back to the guy sitting next to him and seems to ignore Harry any further.

“Come on,” Kaya says, grabbing Harry’s arm and dragging him outside. He notices that she’s put the brown package inside her jacket. He doesn’t question it as she makes her way down the stairs again and then their outside in the cold London air. 

Harry notices that underneath the jacket Kaya is only wearing a tank top that shows her bra and some shorts that don’t even reach halfway her tights. It’s fucking February, how can she not be cold? He doesn’t ask her, though. He merely follows her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that cleaver means like a butcher knife (English isn't my first language, so I didn't know). But I chose these names a long time ago (when they were actually meant for something else) and they have a meaning behind them. Like Cleaver means leader, Kaya means passion, Odin means quiet etc. All the names mean something and all the names are a code name, so none of the names are the character's real name. So Cleaver is Zayn and the guy who was sat next to him is Jiro who is Liam. I won't tell you the other charachter's real names, but I might include them in the story at some point. Louis and Niall don't have code names, but you'll figure that out later.
> 
> I don't know if any of that made sense, but here you go.
> 
> \- Sam


	3. The Black Vox

“Welcome to the Black Vox.”

“Huh?”

Kaya looks at him from the corner of her eyes as she keeps walking in a fast pace. She’s going in the direction of the tube. “Cleaver gave you a name. You’re part of the gang now, there’s no turning back.”

“What?” They’re a gang? Of course, they’re a gang. They wouldn’t live in such a dodgy flat, selling drugs and punching strangers if they weren’t. How did he not see that before? How did he not try to avoid that?

“Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t notice,” Kaya replies like she honestly cannot believe how someone could be so stupid.

“I don’t want to be part of your stupid gang.” He honestly doesn’t. He’s never gotten in any real trouble in his life before and he intends to keep it that way. Gangs are dangerous and is not ready to die for one.

Kaya laughs and every bit of hope Harry had slips away. “I think Cleaver’s made it pretty clear that you don’t have choice.” He surely has.

“Fuck,” he mutters. How could this even happen? Yesterday he was just fine. He was working his shitty job behind the register at Tesco and he lived in a shitty flat with a shitty roommate, but he was fine. Now he’s anything but.

He’s trying to keep his breathing even, trying to calm himself down. There is no time to freak out right now, he has to deliver a drug package. He’s telling himself that’ll be okay, that being part of gang isn’t the worst. But who is he kidding? It’s not going to be okay. He’ll probably get himself killed.

Kaya watches him from the corner of her eyes having his little freak out, but she doesn’t do anything to help him calm down. “There are a lot of people who would be ecstatic to take your place, you should be grateful.”

“They can have it,” Harry mutters. He feels his heartbeat slow down, though. There’s a tube waiting when they enter the station and they take a seat inside the carriage.

“What’s up with the names anyway?” he asks once the tube has started moving.

Kaya looks at him to see if he is truly calm before she replies. “It’s a bit of a tradition. No one knows your real name and the leader gives you a code name, usually based on your personality. I think the original reason was from a previous leader. It’s to not get as attached to a person, because you know, people get killed or go to prison. It’s bullshit, though, because these names feel like real names.”

“So Kaya is not your name?”

Kaya smiles at him. “No, it’s not.”

Harry thinks this through for a bit. He agrees with Kaya that it’s bullshit. Not that he thinks he’ll get attached to these people, but for the rest of them.

“Are you contemplating ways to escape?” Kaya asks him after a long silence. “Because none of them will work.”

“I’m not. I guess I’ll just have to accept that this is part of my life now.” He honestly doesn’t want to, but it’ll be either this or no life at all, because he’ll be dead. It may be an empty threat, but he really thinks Cleaver is capable of doing it.

“It’s really not that bad. We’re like a family. We all protect each other.” That sounds like an ideal image and Harry knows it’s anything but ideal.

“We’re almost there.”

While they were talking, Harry hadn’t noticed where they were going. But when they exit the tube station, he recognizes where they are. They’re surrounded by a big crowd of people, which isn’t unusual on Oxford Street.

“Is this your way of not getting busted?” Harry asks in disbelief. “Going to the most crowded part of whole fucking London. With hundreds of witnesses.”

Kaya rolls her eyes at him. “That’s the tactic. No one ever suspects anything in a place like this.”

She makes a turn in a smaller and less crowded street. She makes her way towards two men leaning against the wall of a house. They’re tall, black and muscular and Harry feels once again so intimidated that he fears for his life.

“Dyke.” Both men look in the direction of Kaya and Harry.

“You’ve got a new addition, I see.” One of the men speaks up and looks at Harry with a small smile on his face. Harry tries to suppress a shudder.

“This is Odin.” Harry almost frowns at the name but then he remembers that Cleaver gave him the name and he’s probably not getting rid of it.

“You’ve got the stuff?” the other man asks and he looks slightly more impatient than the first one.

“Relax. Of course I’ve got the stuff.” Kaya looks around the street before she pulls the brown package out of her jacket and hands it to the man. The man looks at it for a second before handing her a backpack. She grins at him. “It’s a pleasure doing business with you, Dyke.”

She grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him out of the street. He simply follows her. These guys give him the creeps and he doesn't mind getting out of there as fast as possible. “This is it?” he asks. “You didn’t even check the bag.”

“There’s no drugs in the package,” Kaya whispers back, as if someone could hear them. But they’re all alone.

“What?” Harry has zero experience with this kind of stuff, but even he knows that this isn’t good. He thinks he can start to officially fear for his life.

“Last time they didn’t pay us the proper amount. We missed about a thousand pounds. This is Cleaver’s payback.” Holy shit, they’re going to get killed.

“Stop being so fucking nervous,” Kaya hisses at him once the both of them are situated on the tube again. How can she not be nervous? They just gave two dangerous looking men reason to kill them. They’re probably not alone, either. They probably have a whole gang to back them up.

“You know this is the end, right?”

“No, it’s not. This is a warning for them. This is to let them know not to mess with us. And they won’t.” Harry is not too sure, but he doesn’t say anything. It might be true. He just doesn’t think you should trust anyone in this part of London.


	4. ignition

“I don’t think we can trust him. I mean, look at his face.” This is Jiro speaking. He is practically Cleaver’s right hand. He’s quite muscular, but Harry also knows that he’s got a brain. He’s probably the smartest of them all.

“He’s trustworthy. He’s just a bit of a chicken,” Kaya says, raising her eyebrows at Jiro. “But he does what he’s told.”

“He’s not trustworthy if he’s a chicken. He might mess stuff up.” This is Aryan. He’s the pretty face of the gang, even with the long white scar running through his eyebrow. It gives him the bad boy look.

“I think we could use the innocence of his face,” Amara says. She’s the only other girl of the group. She’s quite petite, with dark skin and frizzy hair. She looks just as innocent as Harry, though. If not more.

“I don’t know why we need him. We’re already stronger than CTA,” Ares says with a frown on his face. Harry’s a little scared of him. He knows the guy doesn’t like him and he doesn’t hide his distaste.

“This isn’t about CTA, this is about everything else, you doofus,” Diyo bites back at Ares. He shakes his head at him like how could he be so stupid?

“He’s staying, no matter what you say,” Cleaver says to the group and that’s final. Anything Cleaver says is final. “He already knows too much.”

Harry feels slightly uncomfortable. They’re talking about him like he’s not even there. But they’re all staring at him, sitting in half a circle around the tv, Harry standing in front of it. He feels like he’s an object, ready to be auctioned. 

______

“We’re out of booze.” Aryan walks into the room holding a few empty liquor bottles. Cleaver watches them silently before he turns his gaze to look at Harry.

“Odin, get us some booze.” Harry doesn’t quite react to the name yet, but he feels Cleaver’s eyes burning on him so he looks up. Cleaver has a small smirk on his face and Harry suppresses a shudder at the sight of it.

“I don’t have any money.” It’s partly an excuse and partly true. He doesn’t have much money and he doesn’t want to spend it on alcohol for these guys. But Cleaver only smiles coldly at him.

“You’ll figure it out.”

And so is Harry on his way to find a 24/7 shop after midnight in the part of London his mother has always warned him for. But she isn’t here to protect him, is she?

Harry walks into the night shop feeling more anxious with each step he takes. There is only one way to get booze without money and that is to steal it. And Harry’s never ever stolen something before in his life.

He walks quietly through each aisle of the night shop, trying to figure out how the fuck he’s going to do this. There isn’t much in the shop to distract him from the task at hand.

When he walks in the aisle where the liquor is, he curses when he sees there’s a few people. He turns his back to the aisle and continues to walk, trying to calm his irregular breathing.

Why is he even here in the first place? Because he is fucking terrified of Cleaver. He could probably kill him if he wanted to. And he doesn’t want to die tonight, so he better get some booze. And he better do it quickly.

When he reaches the liquor aisle for the second time, he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that the people are gone. There’s only one boy left and he looks fairly young and harmless.

He turns his back to the boy, so his actions are out of sight and grabs a bottle, putting it inside his jacket.

“Is this your first time stealing something?” Harry jumps at the sound of the voice and almost drops the bottle. He turns around to see the boy smugly smirking at him. “Because you’re not being very subtle.”

“How would you do it then?” Harry bites back rather harshly before he can stop himself.

The smirk on his face only grows wider. “First of all I would wait until the aisle is empty. Second of all buy something. Even if it is as stupid as a pack of gum. It’ll make you look less suspicious.”

Even if the boy just busted him, he’s giving him some rather good tips. “What, are you like a pro at stealing things?

The boy doesn’t reply, but reaches his hand out. “I’m Niall.”

“Harry.”

Niall smiles. “Are you going to steal some shit or are you going to stand there all night?”

“Right.” Harry glances one last time at Niall’s smirking face before turning around. He makes his way towards the cash register, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He hopes the bottle isn’t visible underneath his jacket.

He grabs a pack of gum and smiles at the guy behind the register. This is actually working, he thinks as he takes out some coins. He can’t believe this is actually working. The guy hands him his change and then he quickly leaves the shop.

He hears footsteps behind him and he is scared that the guy behind the register has noticed the bottle anyway. He quickly turns around and is relieved to find Niall grinning at him. 

“Not bad for your first crime.” Harry suddenly stops. Is this what this is? Did he just commit a crime? Sure he knows that stealing is a bad thing and you’re not supposed to do it. But is it seriously like an actual crime? Could he go to jail if they ever find out?

Suddenly he really wants to grab the bottle, shove it in Niall’s hands and run away as far as he can. But then he thinks of Cleaver and how furious he’ll probably be if he came back empty handed or if he doesn’t come back at all. The threat of knowing where to find him is still fresh in his memory.

“Here. To celebrate.” Niall takes a bottle out of his own jacket and Harry looks at him surprised. He never saw that happening. But then again, he was quite busy freaking out about getting busted. “You could probably use it.”

“I feel bad,” Harry says, taking the bottle from Niall’s cold hands. “That guy got stolen from twice in one night. Maybe even more.”

Niall chuckles. “You get it used to it.” He doubts he will, but he doesn’t tell Niall that. Instead he gives him a grateful smile.

Niall is honestly a strange boy. He caught some guy stealing from a night shop and instead of ratting him out, he helps him and even steals with him. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy who would steal. His bright blue eyes, blond locks and porcelain face give him something innocent. But then there’s that constant smirk.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you help a random stranger stealing stuff?” Niall looks at him with a glint in his eyes that Harry can’t comprehend.

“I don’t know. You looked like you could use the help anyway.” The glint doesn’t disappear as he talks and Harry really wishes he knew what it means.

“Why did you steal the booze in the first place?” Niall finally looks away and as he does so, the glint disappears. 

“I didn’t really have a choice, to be honest.”

“You should watch with the people who make you steal. You might end up like me.”


	5. thug life

“Took you long enough,” Aryan says with snicker as Harry walks back into the flat. He only glares at him but doesn’t say anything as he puts the two bottles on the table.

He’s been staying in the flat for two days now and he really wishes he could go back to his own place. But apparently that’s against the rules. All of the members stay in the flat. 

Harry suspects that the only reason they have girls in their gang is to have someone to clean and cook. And probably for the sex as well. 

He goes to sit on the couch next to Ares, who is watching some action movie. Harry doesn’t pay attention, but it’s a good excuse to not have to talk to anyone.

He seriously doesn’t have anything in common with any of these people. They’re all quite violent, constantly threatening people who are only slightly in their way. They think it’s funny to beat up some harmless kid.

______

Harry did not sleep well. He’s sharing a room with Diyo, who brought a girl in last night. They didn’t make an effort to keep quiet. Instead they pretended that they didn’t even see Harry. The moaning and groaning and giggling kept him up for the majority of the night.

And now he’s waking up early, because these curtains aren’t capable of keeping the light out of the room. It’s impossible for him to sleep when the room isn’t completely pitch dark. And everything is just really shitty right now.

He throws the covers off of his body and searches for some decent looking clothes. He exits the room and goes straight for the front door. He’ll grab some breakfast on the way.

But a voice stops him. “Where do you think you’re going?” Cleaver is sitting at the dining table, not seeming very happy with Harry.

“To work.”

The grin that appears on Cleaver’s face doesn’t predict much good. “Yeah, you can go. One last time. To quit.”

Harry is stunned for a moment. How the hell is he going to make money if he quits his job? “You can’t make me quit!”

Cleaver ignores him. “And you better give up your flat, too. Would be stupid to pay for it if you’re not even there, wouldn’t it?”

It is stupid to pay for a flat when he’s not even there. But what if he manages to get out? What if he can’t stay at the gang flat anymore? He’d have no place to go. And he sure as hell ain’t going back home. He won’t live that down.

He doesn’t say anything, though. He guesses he won’t need a job. They’ll probably steal the money they need. Or get it from selling drugs. Maybe people hire them as assassins as well. Wouldn’t that be fun?

He hates this so much. This definitely will be the death of him.

He starts to make his way towards the tube. The tube ride isn’t very long and he wishes it was longer. He is honestly dreading quitting his job. It’s a shitty job and it doesn’t pay very well, but it kept him on his feet.

He also knows that when he quits, he’ll still have a notice of about a month. But he’s sure that Cleaver won’t care about that, so he’ll probably just won’t show up.

“Harry, you’re late,” Mary, the receptionist, tells him.

He takes a deep breath when he sees her. “I quit.” He just rushes it out. He’s not able to stall it, because then he might back out. “And I’m not coming back.”

Mary looks at him surprised, her mouth slightly ajar. He feels bad. He feels like an arsehole. But he just turns around and walks out again. He knows he should probably fill in some paperwork or something. But he’s a thug now, so fuck paperwork.

He doesn’t go back to the flat right away. He hates being there. He feels completely out of place. All the others get along with each other, but he is the odd one. Even if he doesn’t want to be part of them, it makes him feel a little lonely.

Would really noticing it, he walks back to his old flat. He is on a roll now anyway, so he might as well break the news to his roommate. 

He dreads this just as much as having to quit. It’s not that he liked his roommate so much. But it kind of feels like he’s giving up his last piece of freedom and from then on he will be completely in Cleaver’s grip.

“Where the hell have you been?” Tyler, his roommate, asks him when he enters the flat. His lazy arse is planted in front of the tv, what a surprise. “I thought he you might have died.”

“Still alive,” he mutters, but he definitely could have died in the past few days.

He goes straight to his bedroom and starts packing his stuff. There isn’t much beside a bunch of clothes, some records and some old photos. He stuffs it all in a duffel bag.

“Where are you going?” Tyler asks when Harry retreats from his room. He looks a little surprised to see Harry leaving so soon again.

“That’s not important. What’s important is that I’m not coming back, so you probably should look for a new roommate.” With that, he turns his back to Tyler and leaves the flat.

“What the hell?” is the last thing he hears before he slams the door shut.

To be honest, it also kind of feels like a release. Tyler was seriously starting to get on his nerves. He never cleans up, is always eating all the food, never moving his arse away from the tv. He doesn’t even have a job.

The relief vanishes quite quickly when he’s on the tube again and making his way back to his new home. If he’ll ever be able to call it a home.


	6. on fire

“What the fuck.” Cleaver immediately gets up from his seat on the couch as the door opens and Kaya walks in. She looks down as Cleaver approaches her, but everyone has already seen her black eye.

Harry’s come to notice that Kaya and Cleaver have some sort of relationship. It’s seems a little complicated, though. Because although Cleaver seems to care about her, he also sleeps with other girls. While she doesn’t seem to be allowed to even look at another guy. Harry doesn’t understand how she does it, he would be driven crazy with jealousy.

Cleaver lifts up her chin to examine the rest of her face. There is also a large bruise on her cheek. “Who was the motherfucker?” he asks and the angry undertone in his voice makes Harry shudder. 

“Vini.” Her voice is barely audible.

But Cleavers seems to understand her more than clear. His eyes narrow and his breathing gets heavier. It’s then that Harry realizes he’s never seen him angry until now. He’s seething. “Where?” he hisses. 

Kaya doesn’t seem to really want to reply. “Joey’s,” she says nonetheless.

Cleaver turns around to look at the rest of the group and everyone immediately seems to understand what they’re supposed to do as they pile out of the flat one by one. Kaya is the only one who doesn’t seem to move, besides Harry.

Amara grabs her arm. “Come on,” she says softly, pulling her out of the door. “You too, Odin!” she yells at Harry.

He moves to exit the flat after the rest, slamming the door shut behind him. He knows that this doesn’t predict anything good. This Vini guy might end up in the A&E tonight.

Joey’s, it turns out, is a pub. But they don’t need to go inside to find their victim. He is leaning against the wall smoking, surrounded by a couple of guys and girls.

Another guy seems to notice the group first. “Long time no see, Cleaver,” he says with a smirk on his face, taking a few steps towards Cleaver. The guy is small, smaller than Cleaver, but that doesn’t seem to faze him.

“Trust me, I wish it were longer, Tomlinson,” Cleaver replies with as much venom in his voice as he possibly can muster. If Harry were the Tomlinson guy, he would have backed away now. But the smirk on his face only grows.

“Come, come. Don’t hurt my feelings now.” Cleaver is basically burning holes in Tomlinson with his eyes, but Harry’s eyes are focused on something else.

Behind Tomlinson is a figure standing with his arms crossed and his legs spread. His electric blue eyes are clearly visible from where Harry is standing, but Niall isn’t looking at him.

A smirk similar to Tomlinson’s appears on Cleaver’s face. “Too late,” he says it so softly that Harry barely hears it. Then he punches Tomlinson square in the face and Harry almost groans at how his head whips back at the impact.

Then everything happens so quickly it makes Harry dizzy just looking at it.

Both groups emerges forward, literally attacking each other. He sees fists colliding with cheeks, people getting kicked, hair being pulled and screams. Screams of pain, screams of anger, maybe even screams of victory.

Then Niall is in front of him, a smirk on his face as he looks at him with his head tilted. “I guess it’s too late already,” he says and Harry furrows his eyebrows, because what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

He’s scared that Niall is going to punch him and it’s already been established that Harry can’t fight to save his life. But the blow never comes. Instead Niall starts tugging at his sleeve, dragging him away from the fight, from the pub, from the street.

“Not going to lie, I didn’t expect that from you,” Niall says once he stopped dragging Harry. “I mean, you’re a shit thief.”

Harry isn’t sure if that should hurt his feeling or not, so he doesn’t comment on it. “What didn’t you expect?”

“For you to be in a gang, especially the Black Vox. They’re probably one of the most feared gangs in London. You on the other hand are anything but intimidating.”

Harry gives Niall a push. Niall seems to be surprised at the action and stumbles back. “I can be intimidating.”

Niall laughs. “No you can’t. Even now when you’re trying to be intimidating I know that I could still beat you to a pulp.” And he’s probably right, too.

Harry shrugs, letting go of his tough attitude. “I’ve only joined a couple of days ago. Well, more like I’ve been forced to join.”

Harry thinks back to the day he first met Cleaver and how it all went downhill from there. He basically forced him to do anything. He forced him into the gang, he forced him to sell (fake) drugs, to quit his job and give up his flat.

“What’s actually going on there?” Harry asks, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “I don’t believe that this is just about this Vini guy hitting Kaya.”

“No, the Black Vox and CTA have never gotten along. This is about showing who is the strongest and that there’s no messing with the other.” Harry’s heard about CTA before. They’re another gang and Cleaver hates them with a burning passion. 

That means that Niall is also in a gang. Holy fuck.

“What happened?”

“That’s a long story that I don’t like to get into.” Niall then gives him a once over and Harry is a bit taken aback that Niall is so blatantly checking him out. “Is Harry your real name? Because I know Cleaver wants everyone to have a code name. But if Harry were a code name, then it would be a shitty one.”

“I don’t think I can tell you that.” NIall raises his eyebrows at him. “Yes it is.”

“What’s your code name?”

“Odin.” Niall laughs very loudly at that.


	7. prejudiced

Harry follows Niall into the tiny flat. It’s even tinier than Harry’s old flat, which wasn’t big at all. He feels a little uneasy being there, because he knows that if Cleaver finds out, he’s going to get his ass whipped.

“Aren’t they going to get suspicious if we don’t go back?” Harry asks, looking around the flat. The kitchen and living room are in the same space and there are two doors Harry supposes leads to a bathroom and a bedroom.

“Tommo trusts me.” Harry watches as Niall gets a beer out of the fridge. He holds one out for Harry as well, but he merely shakes his head.

“Well, Cleaver doesn’t trust me.”

“Yeah, you’re fucked.” Niall nonchalantly raises an eyebrow at him as he leans against the counter.

“Wow, thanks.”

“Well, you are supposed to be my enemy.” Harry is quiet for a moment, thinking this over. It turns out that the Black Vox and CTA are rivals. So that does mean that Niall is supposed to be his enemy, but it doesn’t feel like that at all. And Niall doesn’t seem to feel that way, either.

“Since when do you offer your enemy beer?” Harry replies with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re too good to be someone’s enemy.” He takes a sip of his beer as he watches Harry intently. “You can tell Cleaver I dragged you out or something. I could beat you up if you want.”

“No thanks.”

“Or just a black eye. Maybe a busted lip.”

“For someone who thinks I’m too good to be an enemy, you sure would like to beat me up.”

“It’s that face of yours. It’s too perfect.” Harry’s heart stops for a second at the comment. He isn’t sure what to think of it when Niall says. But he’s got that smirk on his face and he isn’t sure how serious he is.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’ve got a nice face, pretty boy.” Niall pushes himself off of the counter, moving closer towards Harry until their faces are mere inches apart. Then the grins reappears on his face. “I bet you’re able to wrap all the ladies around that pretty little finger of yours.”

Niall is so close that Harry feels his breath ghosting over his cheeks every time he breathes out. He knows that Niall is just fucking with him, but he feels his breath hitch in his throat as he looks straight into his electric blue eyes.

Then Niall walks away from him to plop down on the couch.

“What if I don’t care about the ladies?” It’s a bold step to take and Harry regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. But at the same time he wants to challenge Niall a bit.

Niall looks up at him from his position on the couch. “You like dick?” He looks a little surprised, but not angered or disgusted. “What?”

Harry shakes his head. “Nothing. I just kind of expected you to call me names or beat me up or something.”

Niall laughs. Harry watches the way he throws back his head, listens how the sounds echoes through the tiny flat. It’s mesmerizing to watch.

“Why would I do that?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders, sitting down on one of the chairs around the plastic kitchen table. “Maybe I’m biased, but I thought gang members hate gays.”

“You should definitely not flaunt it,” Niall says, pointing at Harry with his beer bottle. “Maybe try to keep it from Cleaver as well. He’ll probably appreciates it if you fuck some birds as well.”

Harry pulls a face. The mere thought of having to sleep with a girl just to prove that he’s straight when he’s not, makes him sick to his stomach. He probably wouldn’t even be able to pull it off.

It’s quiet after that. There are so many things that Harry wants to ask Niall, but he doesn’t know how to start. Niall intrigues him and he wants to figure him out, but he doesn’t want to come off as creepy.

“What’s he like? Tomlinson. Or Tommo or whatever,” Harry asks. He remembers the guy that seemed to be the leader of CTA. He wonders if he forces his members to do stuff like Cleaver does.

“Tommo. Cleaver is the only one who calls him Tomlinson,” Niall replies, sitting up straighter to put his empty bottle on the coffee table.

“Why?”

“Because he holds a grudge,” Niall says as if it’s as clear as crystal. “But Tommo’s nice. I mean he can be a real bitch, but if he thinks you’re cool then he’s real nice.”

Harry’s never been more curious as to what happened between Tommo and Cleaver. Niall obviously knows the story, might even have been a part of it. But he refuses to tell it and Harry’s not going to beg him.

“He’s probably not going to think you’re cool, though.”

“No shit.” Harry looks at Niall, trying to seize him up as much as possible. But there’s a wall so thick you’ll need an army to break it down. “What about you? Do you think I’m cool?”

Niall looks at him for a second and then laughs. “I, a member of CTA, let you, a member of the Black Vox, into my home. What do you think?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Niall rolls his eyes. “You’re so stupid.”


	8. something to prove

“Where the fuck have you been?” Is the first thing Harry hears when he opens the door to the flat. It’s Jiro, who’s sat on the couch and gives him a dirty glare. If looks could kill.

“That’s none of your business.” To be honest, Harry is just as scared of Jiro as he is of Cleaver. But he doesn’t want him to know that, because he’s sure he’s going to take it to his advantage.

“I think it is. Were you so scared to get your hands dirty that you ran?” The grin on Jiro’s face is a little evilish. He knows that Jiro doesn’t trust him one bit.

“Nah. That blonde kid, you know the small one with the bleached hair, I don’t know his name. He dragged me off. But I managed to break free and give him a couple of punches.” The lie comes pretty easy, which is good because usually he is a shitty liar.

“You punched Niall?” Aryan, who’s sitting next to to Jiro, pipes up. He seems surprised and Harry wouldn’t find it weird if it were because Niall is too strong to get beat up.

“You, who got yourself beat up in a pub?” Jiro raises an eyebrow at him.

“Not going to lie, I was a little drunk then.” Even though that’s not a total lie, it’s also not the reason why he wasn’t able to fight back and he knows it.

“I’m impressed. You might not be as useless as I first thought,” Jiro says before returning his attention to the tv. Harry smiles a little as he makes his way towards his room. He doesn’t really want to be here, but he could make the best of the situation. And if the group would start to warm up to him, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

He finds Diyo laying on his bed. His cheek is swollen and bruised and he seems to be clutching his stomach in pain. Harry is a bit surprised to see him like that, because Jiro and Aryan seemed to be completely fine.

Harry takes a seat on his own bed. “Are you alright?” he asks softly. 

Diyo opens the eye that isn’t swollen shut by the bruise on his cheek to give him a death glare. “What does it look like?” he spits back. He turns a little so he can face Harry better. “What about you? You ran off like a scared little dog, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Even with his one good eye, Diyo manages to give him a menacing look. “You were gone.”

“I didn’t run,” Harry says with as much conviction as he can muster.

Diyo chuckles. “You ain’t a softie, are you? You like to pretend so people’d think you’re one of the good ones. But you secretly enjoy all of this, don’t you?”

Harry looks at him, but doesn’t reply. He doesn’t know what to say to that. He could make them think that’s the case, so they might feel a little threatened. So he wouldn’t have to fear them all the time.

Diyo scoffs. “That’s what I thought,” he says as he turns away from Harry again.

______

“Odin, it’s your turn. The small one with the glasses.”

Harry looks up at the mention of his name - or rather, code name. But he’s become almost more familiar with it than with his actual name. No one calls him Harry anymore. 

Except for Niall.

Him, Ares, Jiro and Kaya are at the tube station right now. He’s come to the conclusion that tube stations are gang territory. Every gang’s got a couple and other gangs aren’t allowed to come there. And there they rob innocent people.

Harry searches for the person they’re talking about it. It’s a boy, probably fourteen or fifteen years old, that barely reaches his shoulder. He’s got thick frames perched on his nose that gives him a geeky look.

Even though the boy is smaller and is probably even worse at defending himself than Harry, he’s still a little nervous. He’s seen the others do it a couple of times now, but he’s never done it himself.

But he knows he’s got something to prove.

“Hey specs,” Harry calls out and the boy immediately looks up. He guesses it’s not the first time he’s been called that. 

Harry smiles at him. “Those look expensive,” he says, pointing at the glasses. The boy looks up at him with fear in his eyes. Harry never realized he could do this to people.

He takes the glasses of the boy’s face, who slightly flinches at him. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just looking at your nice glasses. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would we?” the boy furiously shakes his head, hoping that’ll make him get rid of Harry.

“Let’s make a deal then. I’ll leave your glasses in one piece and you give me your wallet.”

“No!” the boy protests and Harry is slightly taken aback that he dared to open his mouth.

“Well, I can break your glasses and your face,” Harry says and he feels himself smirking. He isn’t sure if he would be capable of doing that, but the boy doesn’t need to know that.

The boy quickly opens his backpack to take out his wallet and hands it over to Harry. Harry smiles at him. “Wise decision. I’m keeping these, though.” He waves the glasses back and forth as the turns to walk away.

What the fuck did he just do?


	9. the dark part

“Harry!”

Harry jumps about ten feet in the air when he hears his name being called. He’s just around the corner of the street he now lives on. For a second he thinks he’s getting robbed or getting killed. But then he hears someone cackle and the sound is becoming something familiar.

“Oh my fucking god, Niall. You scared the shit out of me,” he hisses at the boy who is now clutching his stomach. 

“You should have seen your face,” he says between his laughter. Eventually he calms himself down, but there is still a wide grin on his face.

“This isn’t funny,” Harry replies, but it’s only half hearted anymore. “What are you doing here anyway? What if Cleaver sees you?”

“I ain’t scared of Cleaver,” Niall says like the little gangster he is. He’s probably going to get himself killed with this attitude.

“Well, you should,” Harry says as he starts walking. Niall soon catches up with him. 

“So what are we doing?” he asks and Harry looks at him for a second. This is weird. He feels completely flattered by the fact that Niall wants to hang out with him. Because he likes Niall. Niall’s got something. But they’re in rival gangs and that is bound to end badly.

“I don’t know, something cool like rob a store or something.”

Niall turns to look at him with a look that says ‘what the hell are you even thinking?’. “What?”

Harry snorts. “I’m just joking.”

Niall pulls a face at him. “You’re weird. But somehow I kind of like it.”

“Thanks, I guess.” It kind of warms his heart. 

Niall is really something else. There is definitely more than what means the eye. He comes across as a bubbly person but Harry knows there is a dark part to him. He’s in a gang, for God’s sake and it doesn’t look like he was forced into it like Harry. And even though he’s never really seen that part, it slightly terrifies him. Like right now, he’s going along with him because he wants to. But also because he’s a little scared of what he would do if he’d reject him.

When he thinks about it, maybe he shouldn’t trust Niall as much as he does. They are in rival gangs after all. Maybe he’s just trying to get on his good side to fuck him over in the end. Maybe he’s just toying with him to throw him away afterwards.

But Niall has been nice to him before he knew Harry was in the Black Vox. He helped him steal booze without even knowing who he was.

“Sure. Want to get some food?” Niall asks.

______

“Tell me about CTA,” Harry asks before biting in his burger. Niall has dragged him to a McDonald’s on literally the other side of London. Harry knows why that is, though. They can’t be seen together.

“What do you want to know?” Niall asks, the words muffled by his overfull mouth. 

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugs. “I mean, you know all about the Black Vox, but I don’t know anything about your gang. Like, what are the members like? Why are they so hostile towards the Black Vox? Just stuff.”

Niall finally swallows his bite and puts the remains of his bruger down. “Well, there’s eight of us with Tommo as our leader. Then there’s Vini, Dougie, Ellis, Billie, Nixie, Rae and me.” Harry tries to connect a face to the names, but the only time he’s seen them was when they were in a group. All he can remember is a mass.

“What happened between CTA and the Black Vox for them to hate each other so much?” Harry asks. The question has been on his mind for a long time, but the previous time he asked, Niall dodged the question.

Niall sighs. “Because Cleaver holds a grudge for a long time. And he’s a dick.”

“Come on Niall. I’m in his gang, I think I should know,” Harry pleads with him. He doesn’t really understand why he wouldn’t tell him.

Niall rubs his hands over his face, before he looks at Harry again. “Okay, whatever. But it started out really stupid and just kept escalating to what it is now.

“I started out a long, long time ago when neither of us were in a gang. The Black Vox has been existing for a couple of decades, but CTA is a fairly new gang. While growing up me, Tommo, Cleaver and Jiro were inseparable. Cleaver joined the Black Vox when he was twelve, because his older brother was leader at the time. He basically grew up with them. I guess he always got along better with Jiro, so a couple of years later, he joined as well. They both started acting like complete dicks towards me and Louis, because to them, they were better than us because they were in a gang. In an act of revenge, Louis started CTA and that’s why the two gangs have been rivals ever since.”

“Shit,” is the only thing Harry says when Niall’s finished his story. It’s very strange to imagine Niall being friends with Cleaver. Niall isn’t half as intimidating as Cleaver.

Niall laughs without humour, like it’s the kind of reaction he expected.

“Was he really only twelve when he joined?” Niall nods his head. “Shit. How old is he now?” He’s never thought about how old each member is. They all look to be around the same age, but he isn’t sure.

“Twenty one.”

“How old are you?”

Niall grins at him. “How old do you think I am?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders, smirking back at him. “I don’t know. You look like you’re sixteen.”

Niall stomps him in the arm and Harry knows it’s supposed to be playful, but it actually hurts. “I’m twenty one, you fucktard. What about you?”

“I’m twenty.”


	10. i won't fade

“Did you ever go to Uni?” Harry asks, leaning back in his chair. He places one of his hands on his full stomach and looks at Niall, who’s sitting across the table.

Niall snorts. “Fuck, no. I don’t have the brains for Uni.” Harry hates to hear him say that.

“So how old you were you when you joined CTA?”

“Sixteen.” Harry tries to imagine a sixteen year old Niall robbing people and selling drugs. It’s very hard. With his blond hair, big blue eyes and infectious laugh, he seems quite innocent. The biceps and the menacing look he can give you say otherwise, though. But he can hardly believe he had those at the age of sixteen.

“Did you go to Uni?” Niall asks, tugging Harry back to the present.

“Yeah,” he says, thinking back at the horrible year he spent at Uni. He was so bad at it. “I dropped out, though and started working at Tesco instead.”

Niall snorts and he opens his mouth to say something. But then his face falls. “Shit,” he mutters. Harry wants to ask him what’s wrong, but Niall cuts him off by grabbing his arm and then he starts to sprint out of the McDonald’s.

Niall starts to run on the busy streets of London, dragging Harry with him. He probably couldn’t break free if he wanted, the grip that Niall has on his wrist almost cuts off his circulation. He wants to yell at Niall, asking him why he is running, but he is already out of breath.

Instead he decides to look behind him, maybe he’ll see what Niall is running from. Realization dawns on him quickly when he notices two figures in blue uniforms sprinting after them. 

Niall is running from the police.

Niall yanks him into an alleyway. There are barely any people which makes it a lot easier to run. “Are they still behind us?” Niall yells at him.

Harry looks back again, seeing that the two cops just have rounded the corner of the alleyway. “Yeah, but we’re making distance.”

Niall starts to run even faster and Harry nearly stumbles at the speed he’s making. He can barely keep up with him, but has to because he’s still gripping his wrist. They make a few more turns and then Niall finally starts to slow down.

“Do you think we lost them?” he asks, breathing heavily. Harry is unable to answer, doubled over in an attempt to stop the aching in his side. He doesn’t think he’s ever run this fast in his entire life.

They’ve landed in another alleyway and they seem to be completely alone.

“Why the hell were you running from the police?” Harry asks as soon as he has regained his breath.

Niall looks at him like he’s stupid. “I’m in a fucking gang, why wouldn’t I run from the police?” Harry thinks he makes a semi good point, but does that really mean he has to run like his life depends on it?

Niall sighs like he’s giving in to Harry’s pleading, even though he hasn’t said anything. “I got arrested by that one once. His name is Jefferson. I kicked him in the balls and managed to break free. Let’s say we’re not the bestest of friends.”

Harry laughs a little. “You kicked a cop in the balls?” Niall merely shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal. “Why did you do to get arrested?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.” Harry doesn’t really know and something is telling him that it’s not the usual. He doesn’t think it’s because he stole a bottle of liquor from a night shop or because he was in possession of a couple of grams of weed. Something is telling him that it’s way bigger.

But he doesn’t say anything about it.

“So what now?” Harry asks. Because they just ran from the police, but what are you supposed to do once you’ve been able to shake them off.

“Let’s go back to my place,” Niall replies. Harry merely nods his head and follows Niall, because he has no idea where the fuck they are.

He looks down at the wrist that Niall had been gripping earlier, because it still hurts. He’s a little surprised to see red fingerprints on his skin. He’s sure that tomorrow there’ll be a bruise and it scares him a little that Niall is so strong.

They take the tube back to Niall’s flat. They sit silently next to each other. Harry wonders how many times Niall has been arrested before, but he doesn’t want to ask. He feels like he’s been prying enough for the day.

The flat looks exactly the same as it did the previous time. Harry doesn’t know why he expected it to be different.

“Do you live here alone?” Harry asks. This time he accepts the beer Niall is handing him. He could use some alcohol after that sprint.

“Yeah. I’d probably go insane if I’d have to share a space this small with a roommate. Besides, there’s only one bedroom,” Niall replies, plopping down on the couch.

Harry takes a seat next to him as Niall slips off his shoes and props his feet up on the coffee table. Harry looks around, trying to take in the room, but there’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. The walls are completely blank, not a picture in sight.

Harry wonders if Niall still sees his family or if he they kicked him out and don’t care for him anymore. He feels like the latter is more likely. He feels like a lot of gang members have been kicked out at some point.

He’s no exception.


	11. the feelings that we hide

Harry walks aimlessly through the aisle, his fingers tracing the shelves. Twenty minutes earlier, Amara, Aryan and Diyo insisted he’d join them on their trip to the mall. He still doesn’t feel entirely uncomfortable with the whole stealing thing.

He stops in his tracks when he sees Amara at the end of the aisle. Amara has a sweet face, her eyes twinkling and her mouth pulled into a soft smile. She always wears dresses and not the kind that are tight and show off her legs. The kind that sweet girls wear.

Harry doesn’t know how she ended up in a gang, but she seems completely out of place.

But then at times like this, she seems like she belongs there.

She looks around and spots the camera hanging on the ceiling. She turns her back to the device and then so subtle that even Harry almost misses it, she grabs a necklace from the shelf and puts it inside the pocket of her jacket. She walks a little further into another aisle and Harry can see her fumbling inside her pocket. A few seconds later the tag of the necklace drops to the ground and she shoves it with her foot under a shelf.

Harry can’t help but be in awe with her method. The store is quite crowded yet no one noticed her taking the necklace. You should have really been paying attention to see it.

Amara turns around and she notices Harry looking at her. Her eyes tell him that she knows that he saw her. That’d she known all along.

She walks over to him. “Why don’t you try it?” she asks once she’s stopped in front of him.

“I uh-” he cuts himself off, trying not to sound like a stuttering loser. “I don’t really fancy getting busted.”

Amara shrugs her shoulders, like she doesn’t really care whether he’d get busted or not. “I think you’d be pretty good at it. I mean I heard you successfully robbed a defenseless fourteen year old.” Her tone is a little sarcastic and Harry doesn’t know what to make it of it.

“Uh, yeah.” That’s definitely not his proudest moment.

“You’ve gotta learn anyway,” Amara says. “But not here.” She grabs his hand and starts pulling him out of the store. She looks back at him and smiles softly at him.

Amara is confusing for sure.

“I know how to do it,” Harry replies while she keeps walking, never releasing his hand. “I stole booze for you guys.”

He hears Amara chuckle softly next to him. “Night shops are easier than stores in a mall. There are no alarms or tags.” He can’t argue her on that.

Amara stops in front of a store where they sell phones. She doesn’t say anything, but Harry understand what she wants him to do. And he is definitely not up for it. He doesn’t fancy ending up in jail.

“No way,” he tells her. “No way I’m going to steal phone.”

But Amara simply grins widely. “Yes way,” she replies. “You need a new one anyway. All you have to do is take the tag off. I’ll go after you and put in my purse. No one will notice.”

Harry thinks it’s a rubbish plan and it’s set up for failure. But the look Amara gives him tells him he doesn’t really have a choice. He sighs deeply, preparing himself before he walks into the store.

He thinks about taking a cheap phone, but then he remembers that the phone is for him. So he might as well take a nice one. If he’s doing it he might as well do it well. 

Amara enters the store a few minutes later. She’s walking around a few metres away from Harry, but he can feel her gaze upon his back. He tries to ignore it as he walks around, looking at the different phones. Then his eye lands on the new iPhone.

He turns around to look at Amara. She’s talking to one of the people who work at the store, but she notices him and gives him a small nod. Harry grabs one of the boxes and pretends to look at it. When he’s almost alone, he rips the tag off in a swift motion and shoves it deep into his pocket. Then he puts the box back on the shelf.

He starts walking around again and then exits the store. Not long after, Amara joins him. “Go,” she says softly, grabbing his arm and she starts to walk away as discreetly as possible. Harry’s learned to try and be as less suspicious as you can be when you’re stealing shit.

“Do you have it?” Harry asks once they’re a good distance away from the store.

Amara gives him a look and takes the box out of her purse. “Of course I have it.” She hands him the box. “Wasn’t bad for your first time. Next time you’ll have to do it alone, though.”

Harry nods his head at her, but he is too mesmerized by the phone to really pay attention. That’s probably the most expensive thing he’s ever had in his hands. And he didn’t even pay for it. He’s not quite sure how to feel about that.

“You have an expensive taste,” Amara says as she watches him practically drool over the phone.

He looks at her, putting the phone inside the pocket of his jacket. “I didn’t grow up with much, I guess I’m allowed to have something expensive.”

Amara merely chuckles. “There’s a sim card for you back at the flat.”

Harry looks at her puzzled. He has a perfectly good working sim card in his old phone. “Why do I need a new sim card?”

“It’s better that you cut off all contact with your old life.”


	12. there's a screen on my chest

Harry hasn’t been to many nightclubs in his life. Mostly because he thinks they smell and he has an issue with people invading his personal space. Also he doesn’t have enough money to get drunk enough to survive a nightclub.

But for some reason he’s making an exception for Niall.

The first thing he notices when he enters the club is the piercing smell of alcohol. It’s a lot warmer inside than in the cold February air. He already feels a little overwhelmed at the amount of people in the club.

“You need a drink?” Niall asks from beside him. He nods his head, because he isn’t sure if he would survive this without being a little intoxicated.

Niall disappears from beside him which makes Harry feel a little uncomfortable. It’s been a long time since he went to a nightclub and he almost forgot how much he hates those.

He looks around for a bit, feeling awkward standing by the door. There’s a dance floor packed with sweaty bodies, there’s a bar where people are drinking away their sorrows and there are booths, which mostly contains of couples snogging.

“Here you go,” Niall says, appearing in front of him again and shoving a glass in Harry’s hands. “I asked for a double, you look like you could use it.”

Harry pulls an eyebrow. “Are you trying to get me wasted so you can take advantage of me?” But he’s actually pretty grateful for the double dose of alcohol.

“Damn, you caught onto my plan.” The sides of Niall’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. “No, I actually just want to see how stupid you act when you’re drunk.”

“Prepare yourself for a lot of stupidity then.”

But neither of them get really drunk. They’ve sat down in one of the booths and Harry is pleasantly buzzing. He notices that even though it’s quite dark in the club, he can still see Niall’s eyes sparkling brightly.

“How’s your love life?” Niall grins at him. The past two hours they have been talking about the most stupid things. It’s probably not what you’re supposed to do in a nightclub, but it’s been Harry’s best club experience so far. No one has ended up crying yet, no one has ended up with a black eye and no one is too drunk to the point they can’t function properly anymore.

Harry snorts at Niall’s question. “None-existent.” It’s been a long time since he’s been interested in someone. It’s been a long since he even wanted to be interested.

“We could change that.” Niall winks at him and suddenly he’s very close. Harry can feel his breath fanning on his cheeks. At this point he isn’t sure if Niall’s messing with him or not. The grin on his face don’t give him any clues either.

But then he feels Niall’s mouth on his and he’s pretty sure this isn’t messing around anymore.

He can’t lie and say he’s not slightly taken back with Niall’s bold move. But he can’t say that he doesn’t like, either. He’s never realized how much he wanted to kiss the boy until it’s actually happening.

Harry can’t believe this is happening. The guy who helped him steal a bottle of liquor is kissing him right now. And he’s enjoying it, the way Niall’s lips feel against his. How they’re rough and obviously the lips of a guy, but soft and gentle at the same time.

He can’t believe his kissing a guy from a rival gang. A couple of weeks ago he wasn’t even in a gang. And now he’s almost literally sleeping with the enemy.

Then it dawns on him.

This is wrong. They shouldn’t be doing this.

He pulls away from Niall lips and sits back so he’s creating a lot of distance between the two of them. “Niall, I can’t do this.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows and Harry feels like he’s making a mistake. He just doesn’t know what the mistake is: kissing Niall or telling him that it can’t happen again. “Why not? I thought you were gay,” Niall asks confused.

“No, I mean we shouldn’t do this. You told me yourself that I’m supposed to be your enemy. If they find out we’re done for.” He can’t help but imagine the look on Cleaver’s face when he’s about to beat Harry up for what he’s done.

“Then they can’t find out,” Niall says simply.

Harry sighs and thinks this over. His common sense tells him that whatever they try, someone will find out eventually. But at the same time he knows that now he’s had a taste he won’t be able to stay away. “Fine,” he eventually gives in. “Oh, and I’m not gay.”

Niall cocks an eyebrow at him. “What? You told me you didn’t care for girls and you like dick.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, that isn’t entirely true,” he says apologetically. 

“Wait, so you don’t like dick?” Niall looks pretty cute when he’s confused and Harry can’t help but laugh a little.

“No, I do. It’s just, I don’t care about gender, I care about a person,” he tries to explain but it’s quite clear that Niall doesn’t get it.

“Okay, I don’t really understand that. But you like dick and I have a dick, so I guess there’s no problem.”

Harry smiles at him. “No, I guess not.”

Niall grabs his waist, pulling him closer again. He grins at Harry before closing the gap between the two and kissing him again. Harry winds his arms around Niall’s neck, savouring his taste as much as he possibly can.

He knows this is bound to end up badly, but he can’t stop himself.


	13. i am the moon

Harry hasn’t been to many nightclubs in his life. Mostly because he thinks they smell and he has an issue with people invading his personal space. Also he doesn’t have enough money to get drunk enough to survive a nightclub.

But for some reason he’s making an exception for Niall.

The first thing he notices when he enters the club is the piercing smell of alcohol. It’s a lot warmer inside than in the cold February air. He already feels a little overwhelmed at the amount of people in the club.

“You need a drink?” Niall asks from beside him. He nods his head, because he isn’t sure if he would survive this without being a little intoxicated.

Niall disappears from beside him which makes Harry feel a little uncomfortable. It’s been a long time since he went to a nightclub and he almost forgot how much he hated those.

He looks around for a bit, feeling awkward standing by the door. There’s a dance floor packed with sweaty bodies, there’s a bar where people are drinking away their sorrows and there are booths, which mostly contains of couples snogging.

“Here you go,” Niall says, appearing in front of him again and shoving a glass in Harry’s hands. “I asked for a double, you look like you could use it.”

Harry pulls an eyebrow. “Are you trying to get me wasted so you can take advantage of me?” But he’s actually pretty grateful for the double dose of alcohol.

“Damn, you caught onto my plan.” The sides of Niall’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. “No, I actually just want to see how stupid you act when you’re drunk.”

“Prepare yourself for a lot of stupidity then.”

But neither of them get really drunk. They’ve sat down in one of the booths and Harry is pleasantly buzzing. He notices that even though it’s quite dark in the club, he can still see Niall’s eyes sparkling brightly.

“How’s your love life?” Niall grins at him. The past two hours they have been talking about the most stupid things. It’s probably not what you’re supposed to do in a nightclub, but it’s been Harry’s best club experience so far. No one has ended up crying yet, no one has ended up with a black eye and no one is too drunk to the point they can’t function properly anymore.

Harry snorts at Niall’s question. “None-existent.” It’s been a long time since he’s been interested in someone. It’s been a long since he even wanted to be interested.

“We could change that.” Niall winks at him and suddenly he’s very close. Harry can feel his breath fanning on his cheeks. At this point he isn’t sure if Niall’s messing with him or not. The grin on his face don’t give him any clues either.  
But then he feels Niall’s mouth on his and he’s pretty sure this isn’t messing around anymore.

He can’t lie and say he’s not slightly taken aback at Niall’s bold move. But he can’t say either that he doesn’t like. He’s never realized how much he wanted to kiss the boy until it’s actually happening.

Harry can’t believe this is happening. The guy who helped him steal a bottle of liquor is kissing him. And he’s enjoying it, the way Niall’s lips feel against his. How they’re rough and obviously the lips of a guy, but soft and gentle at the same time.

He can’t believe his kissing a guy from a rival gang. A couple of weeks ago he wasn’t even in a gang. And now he’s almost literally sleeping with the enemy.

Then it dawns on him.

This is wrong. They shouldn’t be doing this.

He pulls away from Niall lips and sits back so he’s creating a lot of distance between the two of them. “Niall, I can’t do this.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows and Harry feels like he’s making a mistake. He just doesn’t know what the mistake is: kissing Niall or telling him that it can’t happen again. “Why not? I thought you were gay,” Niall asks confused.

“No, I mean we shouldn’t do this. You told me yourself that I’m supposed to be your enemy. If they find out we’re done for.” He can’t help but imagine the look on Cleaver’s face when he’s about to beat Harry up for what he’s done.

“Then they can’t find out,” Niall says simply.

Harry sighs and thinks this over. His common sense tells him that whatever they try, someone will find out eventually. But at the same time he knows that now he’s had a taste he won’t be able to stay away. “Fine,” he eventually gives in. “Oh, and I’m not gay.”

Niall cocks an eyebrow at him. “What? You told me you didn’t care for girls and you like dick.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, that isn’t entirely true,” he says apologetically. 

“Wait, so you don’t like dick?” Niall looks pretty cute when he’s confused and Harry can’t help but laugh a little.

“No, I do. It’s just, I don’t care about gender, I care about a person,” he tries to explain but it’s quite clear that Niall doesn’t get it.

“Okay, I don’t really understand that. But you like dick and I have a dick, so I guess there’s no problem.”

Harry smiles at him. “No, I guess not.”

Niall grabs his waist, pulling him closer again. He grins at Harry before closing the gap between the two and kissing him again. Harry winds his arms around Niall’s neck, savouring his taste as much as he possibly can.

He knows this is bound to end up badly, but he can’t stop himself.


	14. and you are the sun

“I’m getting another drink.”

Harry smiles as Niall retreats from the booth and heads to the bar. 

He hardly understands what’s happening right now. He didn’t know when Niall invaded his brain, but now he’s there all the time. He can’t get rid of it and for some reason it feels good.

It feels good to do the wrong.

Because this is so incredibly wrong. It was wrong from the very first moment they met. Niall is supposed to be his rival, his enemy, whatever you want to call it. And it’s going to end badly. And it’s going to hurt worse than stepping away from him right now.

But he can’t.

And that might be what kills them in the end.

Harry’s eyes search for Niall in the crowd of people. It isn’t hard to find him and he smiles when his eyes land upon him. But his smile falters when he sees the people he’s standing with.

The first one he recognizes is Tomlinson, with his feathery hair and his devious smirk. He slightly recognizes the two other people as members of CTA, but he doesn’t know their names.

The first thing that comes across his mind is that Niall is screwing him over. He used him, got on his good side so that he ultimately can break him down. Emotionally and physically. And Harry just let his guard fall down and let him do it. He fell for it with open eyes.

But all he can think about is that Niall has been nice to him from the very first moment. He didn’t know that Harry was in a rival gang, he didn’t know a thing about him. Yet he helped him steal. Who helps strangers steal?

He locks eyes with Niall across the club. He feels like scowling at him and give him the finger before storming out. But Niall’s eyes are wide and alarming as if to say that he’s just as shocked as Harry is. He gestures with his head towards the exit. 

Harry simply does as he’s told and leaves.

The air outside is a lot cooler and it feels like he can breathe again after being suffocated. It only last for so long.

He hears the door opening and footsteps coming his way. He knows Niall is standing behind him but he doesn’t turn around to face him.

“I know this looks bad, but I didn’t know they were going to be here. I didn’t set you up.” Niall’s voice is frantic when he speaks and Harry almost feels bad for him.

He can’t tell if Niall is being genuine or if he’s trying to manipulate him into trusting him. And even though he has his doubts, he can’t help but give in.

He turns around to face Niall’s big blue eyes. “It’s fine.”

“I’m really sorry. But I think it’s better you go. I don’t want you to get beat up or something.”

There is something off, though. Even though Niall sounds and looks genuine, everything about him is convincing, yet there’s something weird about it. Because Niall isn’t the kind of person to sound pleading. Yet here he is, his eyebrows pulled down in a concerned manner, his forehead creased. His eyes big and blue almost like a lost puppy.

It shouldn’t be like that. It should have come out slightly sarcastic with a smirk on his face. It should have come out slightly mocking.

“Sure,” Harry says, shaking away his confusion. He’s probably looking too much into it. “I’ll see you around.” 

He turns to head back to the flat. “Harry.”

He stops in his tracks and turns to face Niall again. This time there is a smirk and Harry feels almost relieved at the sight of it. “You’re not going to leave like that, are you?”

Harry furrows his eyebrows because he genuinely doesn’t know what Niall is talking about. 

But he hasn’t got much time to think about it before Niall’s kissing him. His lips are pressed more firmly against his than the first time and it feels even better. The warm sensation he feels starts from his lips over his whole face and down his his spine.

He didn’t actually think that Niall would kiss him again. He thought it was an in the moment kind of thing that would only happen once. But here he is, his arms winding around Harry’s neck and pulling him as close as possible while he tries to invade Harry’s mouth with his tongue.

Harry lets him, opening his mouth for him. He forgets about all of his earlier concerns and all he can focus on his the warm, wet sensation in his mouth.

God, he loves kissing Niall.

When he pulls away, Niall is still grinning at him. “Take care,” he says and the glint in his eyes is a little mischievous.

Harry shakes his head at him, but he can’t stop himself from grinning either. “You’re really something else.”

“It’s not the first time I hear that.”

______

It’s really too early to wake up. So why is his goddamn phone ringing?

Harry groans and blindly reaches on his nightstand to find his phone. When he grabs it, he’s actually quite surprised that he’s holding his old phone instead of his new one. He hasn’t been able to get rid of it yet even though he doesn’t use it anymore.

As he stares at the screen, he’s a little shocked when he finds that it’s his sister calling him. He hasn’t heard from her in a while. He actually hasn’t made an effort to talk to her since he got himself forced into a gang.

“Turn off the damn phone,” he hears Diyo groaning from the other bed in the room.

He quickly picks up the phone and jumps out of bed. Diyo doesn’t need to hear this.

“Harry?” Gemma’s voice sounds a little strange through the device. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t heard it in a few weeks.

“Yeah,” he replies, his voice still groggy. He’s dreading the conversation they’re about to have. He can already hear in her voice that she’s ready to scold him.

“Thank god.” She sighs in relief. “Where the hell are you? You’ve literally dropped off the face of the earth. I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“I’m fine,” he mutters as he enters the kitchen. He’s glad to see it empty. He knows that most of the members have cut off all contact with their families or their past lives in general. He isn’t how they would react if they found out he’s talking to his sister.

“Where are you, though?” she presses. “I went by your flat the other day and Tyler said you don’t there anymore. He said you were acting very strange.” He knows there’s an interrogation coming and he better be prepared for it or she might come looking for him.

“I’ve found a better place,” is all he replies. He can’t possibly tell her what’s really going on.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“You could’ve at least called or something. I thought something terrible happened.” It’s silent for a while and Harry wonders why she didn’t call earlier if she was so terribly worried about him. But he doesn't tell her that. “Mum is worried about you, too.”

What? “I haven’t talked to mum in months. She decided not to care about me anymore. Why is she worried about me now?”

He hears Gemma sigh and he prepares himself for a sermon. “Harry, she’s your mother, of course she cares about you.” That’s not what she let on when she kicked him out. “And I talk to her, okay? She wants to know about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so I haven't updated this in ages and I'm actually not planning on updating it any further. I just found out I hadn't posted the last chapter yet. I like this story a lot, though. But I don't really write fan fiction anymore and I wouldn't know how to continue this story. 
> 
> But yeah, anyway, enjoy it!


	15. party's over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I changed my mind. I’m going to try and keep updating this story. This is a freshly written chapter after not looking at it for over year. Hope it still feels like on story. Enjoy

Harry isn’t fond of going to a nightclub in the first place, let alone two nights in a row. But he can’t possibly tell Cleaver that he was in this very same booth the night before, snogging a member of a rival gang.

He feels someone watching him and he expects to find Jiro burning holes in his skull with his eyes, like he’s done so many times before. The guy still hasn’t warmed up to the new addition of his precious gang.

But it’s only Amara.

“What?” Harry says. Amara doesn’t look guilty that he caught her staring nor does she answer his question. She simply smirks at him before getting up from the booth and walking over to the dance floor.

Harry is left by himself and he honestly doesn’t mind.

Not that it lasts very long.

“You’re a real bore, aren’t you?” Diyo says as he plops down next to Harry. He smells of alcohol and cigarettes and his eyes can’t seem to properly focus on Harry.

Harry doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t want to admit to being a bore - or Diyo’s definition of a bore - but he doesn’t want to explain why he’s not up and having a good time, either.

But Diyo sees Harry’s silence as a confirmation. “There are some decent looking birds over there,” he says with a nod of his head in the direction of the dancefloor. “I can introduce you to them.” The smirk on his face grows and this is definitely a challenge.

And Harry doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

So he agrees. “Well alright then,” Diyo says. He looks slightly surprised but also very pleased. Almost too pleased.

“Hello ladies,” Diyo says in low voice as he reaches a group of four girls. They’re all wearing short, tight dress, showing off their skinny bodies and legs that go on for days.

“Hey there Diyo,” one of the girl says and she smiles at him. Harry can’t say he’s too surprised that all the girls seem to know Diyo. “Who’s your friend?”

The four of them are now looking at Harry. He smiles uncomfortably back at them. “This is Odin,” Diyo says and Harry still cringes at the name.

“Well, aren’t you cute?” One of the girls says, making him feel like a baby.

He feels uncomfortable. He’s not interested in the girls, but he feels like Diyo doesn’t give him a choice. 

He talks a bit to them until he sees his chance to escape. 

Diyo’s attention is diverted to another group of girls and Harry excuses himself to the bathroom. 

He lets out a breath of relief when he’s finally on his own for a little. Away from all these people packed together and smelling of alcohol. 

But the relief doesn’t last long. 

“Well, well, well. Look what we’ve got here.” The sound of the voice sends a chill down Harry’s spine. He turns around slowly to face Tomlinson. “If it isn’t Cleaver’s new addition.”

Tomlinson smirks at him and Harry feels his insides turn to ice. He’s all by himself and Tomlinson’s got his gang behind him.

And Niall is amongst them.

Harry can’t read the look Niall has on his face. It’s not one of recognition. He’s not smiling, like he usually is. He thinks the look might anger. 

“A strange choice, if you ask me.” Harry diverts his attention back to Tomlinson. He looks like he’s ready ruin Harry.

“What the hell is going on here?” Harry’s never been so happy before to see Diyo. 

Tomlinson turns to look at Diyo. He doesn’t seem to feel threatened by his presence. “Where just having a chat with your new little friend,” he says.

“I think you’ve chatted enough.”

Tomlinson ignores Diyo, though and turns his focus back on Harry. “Niall,” he says and he tilts his head a little to the side. Then Niall’s fist is in Harry’s face.

He hears the crack before he feels it. Then there’s blood gushing out of his nose. A lot of blood. He wasn’t wrong when he thought that Niall could beat him to a pulp.

Harry grabs his nose to try and stop the bleeding. He’s stumbled back with the impact of the punch and slid to the floor, so he has to look up the see Niall and Tomlinson. 

The look on Niall’s face hasn’t changed but Tomlinson looks quite pleased with himself.

“Punch back, you coward,” Diyo screams from the other side of the bathroom. He’s wrestling with two or three members of CTA, but Harry can’t make out the amount of limbs. 

Harry gets up. He really wants to swing a fist at Niall right now but he knows he can’t. Instead he goes for Tomlinson’s face. 

Just as he’s about to a voice stops him. 

“Party’s over, boys.” Harry recognizes the guy as Jefferson, the cop him and Niall have run from a couple of days ago.

This doesn’t mean much good.


	16. walking the wire

“Name?”

“Odin.”

The police officer raises an eyebrow at the name. “I don’t suppose you have a last name?” Harry doesn’t say anything. “Thought so.”

The officer types something into his computer. He seems unimpressed by Harry’s behaviour. He’s probably had to deal with cases far worse than Harry.

“Look pal, I’m going to need your real name or I won’t be able to process this and that’s bad for both you and me.” 

Harry still doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure how far he’s supposed to go with this whole code name thing. He’s sure that Cleaver and the rest of the gang have been arrested before and he wonders what they did in a situation like this.

“Pal.” Harry looks up at the officer. “Your name.”

He gives in. “Harry.”

“Surname?”

“Styles.”

The officer starts typing again. He nods his head at the computer and then looks back at Harry. “You have a clean record, so I’m going to let you off with a warning.”

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles. 

But the officer isn’t done. “You should stay away from people like Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan. They’re not good people. They’re quite known at the police stations and not just this one.”

Harry merely nods his head. 

“Okay then. Off you go.”

Diyo is waiting for him outside the station. Harry doesn’t know how but he managed to get away. Only Harry, Niall and Tomlinson were arrested. But Harry suspects that they won’t be let off as easy as him. 

“You’re and idiot,” Diyo says as he sees Harry. Yet he looks quite happy with the whole situation. “Is this your first arrest?” 

Harry nods his head. He wonders how Niall is doing. It’s not his first arrest. “I’m glad I was there see you get your flower taken.” He chuckles to himself but Harry doesn’t say anything.

He feels quite shitty right now.

______

“Harry.” The voice doesn’t sound as enthusiastic as it usually does. Harry ignores him, though and just keeps walking. First of all, he doesn’t want to risk Cleaver seeing them and second, he’s really fucking pissed.

“Harry,” Niall says again. He still doesn’t say anything. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“Why did you punch me?” Harry stops in his tracks to look at Niall. He wishes he could keep ignoring him, but he needs to take his anger out.

Harry’s nose is still swollen and bruised. Kaya tried to mend it as much as she possibly could and Cleaver didn’t allow him to go to a hospital. So it probably won’t heal properly and it’ll be crooked for the rest of his life. Not to mention that it hurts like a mother fucker.

“What did you expect me to do? Louis was right there, I couldn’t tell him no.” Harry can see that Niall is starting to get angry as well. He’s never seen him like this before and he won’t admit it, but it scares him a little.

Harry shrugs his shoulders. If Cleaver told him to punch Niall he would do it too. But the difference is that Niall is supposed to be friends with Tomlinson and Harry is fucking terrified of Cleaver.

“He saw us the other night,” Niall says and Harry’s heart stops for a second. Shit, they’re screwed. “You don’t have to worry, I was able to convince it was nothing but I had to proof where my loyalties lay.”

“Fine, you had a good reason,” Harry says and he starts to walk again. “It still means you’re a dick and it still means we shouldn’t see each other again.”

“What?”

The surprise in Niall’s voice is so clear it nearly breaks Harry’s heart. He probably didn’t see that one coming. “I said you’re a dick.”

Niall ignores him, though. “You don’t want to see me again?”

He doesn’t look Niall in the eye. He doesn’t want to. He’s sure he’ll changes his mind if he does. “No, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“You punched me.” Harry doesn’t get what’s so hard to understand here.

“Yeah, I punched you and you should be thankful.” Harry laughs humourlessly. “You should. I had to stand up to Louis, he would’ve figured out what is going on. So would Cleaver and he would’ve ended you.”

Harry can’t argue with that logic. If Cleaver had found out he wouldn’t be walking around like he is now. And for that he is thankful. But what happened the other night just proves that it wouldn’t work either way. And it’s better that they end it now.

“I’m not changing my mind, though.”


	17. kind regards

“Odin.”

Harry jumps at the sound of the voice. He thought he was all by himself. He saw the rest of leaving to god knows where.

But there is Amara standing in the doorway of his bedroom.

“How you doing?” she asks as she walks into the room. She goes to sit down on Diyo’s bed. She smiles at him and Harry really doesn’t know what is going on. He’s sure she’s not just asking how he’s doing.

“Good,” he replies and he feels a bit wary.

“Great,” she says but then her expression changes and there it is. “You should stop hanging out with Niall Horan.”

Harry’s heart skips a beat and his mind goes blank for a second before going into overdrive. How does she know about that? They were really careful, they avoided places they could be seen. Does she know they kissed?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry says in an attempt to hide his surprise.

Amara rolls her eyes at him. “Don’t play dumb with me,” she says. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

Harry doesn’t know what to say. He can’t admit to hanging out with Niall, she might tell Cleaver and then he’s done for. But it’s very obvious that she already knows, so what is the point in denying it? So instead he doesn’t say anything.

“Look,” she says and this is the most serious he’s ever seen her before. “Just cut off all contact with him. If you do, I won’t tell Cleaver. If you don’t… Well, you know how that’ll end.”

Harry isn’t sure if he should trust her on her word, but he doesn’t feel like he has much of a choice. So he nods his head. “I’ve already cut off contact.”

Amara smiles. “Good.”

Harry has one question, though. “How did you find out, though?” He thought they had been careful. He looked over his shoulder more than he normally would, but maybe he had been too caught up in Niall to notice anybody else.

“I saw him dragging you off at the fight. I thought you might need some help so I followed you. But then you walked away together so I figured there was something off. So I have been watching you for the last few weeks. Also he’s been hanging around the flat quite often.” She shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal, but Harry feels uncomfortable knowing that she had been lurking in the shadows all the time.

“You’re lucky it was me and not Cleaver,” she says and it’s like she reads Harry’s mind. He was just thinking the same thing. What if Cleaver had seen them walking off together the night of the fight. Or even anybody else?

“Thanks,” he says.

______

Riding the tube has always had a calming effect on Harry and after his conversation with Amara he could use a bit of calming down. But he didn’t plan to drift off, fall asleep and end up in a tube station he’s not supposed to be in.

“Shit,” he says as he exits the train and sees the name sign of the station. It belongs to a rival gang and he knows he could get in a lot of trouble of they see him.

He tries to make his way to the other platform as quickly as possible so he can take a train in the opposite direction. But luck isn’t on his side, because when is it ever?

Harry spots a tall and muscular guy leaning against the wall of the tube station. He knows that the station is territory of the The Golden Cobras and he’ll probably get beat up if one of them finds out he’s in another gang.

He tries to be as subtle as he can when he crosses the station to get to other platform and doesn’t look in the direction of the guy. He’s not sure if the guy knows who he is, but Harry has been able to memory most of the faces of people who belong in other gangs and the guy might have, too.

He almost sighs in relief when he reaches the escalator but then someone taps him on the shoulder. He expects it to be the tall and muscular guy, but it’s just a girl who smiles politely at him.

“You don’t belong here,” she says. Her voice is soft and cold but her face could fool any bypassers into thinking she’s just asking him for direction.

“I don’t mean to,” he stutters. He notices that the tall and muscular guy is watching them. “I was just about to leave.”

The smile on the girls face grows wider. “But you’re here now,” she says. “We’re thinking you should stay for a while.”

Shit. 

This isn’t going to end well.

She motions with her head to the exit of the tube station. He’s contemplating ways to escape but he’s noticing more and more members of The Golden Cobras and he’s sure one of them will get to him before he can get away.

He follows the girl to a spot that is less crowded. And he just knows that this is going to end badly for him. 

Some of the other members have followed the pair to the spot. Harry notices that there is not just one tall and muscular guy. They’re all tall and muscular.

“You’ve got a lot nerve coming here,” one of them says. The girl has melted into the group and they’re all staring at Harry.

“I didn’t mean to,” Harry says and for once he wishes Cleaver were here. Or anyone who’s a better fighter than him. “I can just leave.”

The guy doesn’t say anything, just smiles at him and Harry knows it’s over. “Send our regards to Cleaver,” he says right before he punches Harry in his already broken nose.


	18. don't be his friend

Harry’s body is aching all over. The members of the Golden Cobras were able to get in a few good punches before he was able to get away. He feels terrible. He’s sure bruises are slowly starting to appear on his torso, he got kicked in the shoulder a few times and he’s nose feels worse than it did before.

He stares at the door before him. He’s not entirely sure why he’s here. Just that he really didn’t want to go back to the flat, that he couldn’t possibly show up on his sister’s doorstep looking like this and that aside from Niall, he has nowhere else to go.

So he knocks on the door.

“Fucking hell,” Niall says as he opens the door. Harry isn’t sure if it’s because how he’s looking or simply because he’s there.

“Yeah,” Harry says quietly, his voice getting stuck in his throat.

“What are you doing here?” Niall asks once he got a good look of Harry. “I thought you didn’t want to see me again?”

“I don’t. But I do.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows. “That doesn’t make any sense, you tit,” he says. Then he sighs and opens the door wider. “Get in here.”

Harry limps inside Niall’s tiny flat and lets himself fall back onto the couch. He sighs in relief when he’s finally able to sit down and take the pressure of his leg. Niall hands him a couple of cold bottles of beer.

“It’s the coldest thing I’ve got,” he says when Harry gives him a look. “Don’t get any blood on my couch.”

Harry doesn’t react to the remark. He can tell that Niall’s pissed at him and quite frankly, he can’t blame him. But he is still pissed, too.

“You’re very confusing, do you know that?” Niall says after a tense silence.

“This was a mistake,” Harry says. If they talk, they’ll make up and then they’re right back to square one. He won’t be able to stay away, Cleaver’s going to find out and that’ll be the end. Of him and possible of Niall, too.

“Stay,” Niall says as Harry attempts to get up from the couch. It almost sounds threatening, but in a good way. Is that possible?

Harry sinks back into the couch. It’s way easier to give into Niall than fight him.

“What happened?” Niall gusters to Harry’s body.

“It’s stupid,” Harry says and really is. “I ended up in the wrong tube station and some people weren’t happy about that.” 

Niall chuckles. 

“I’m glad my misery brings you so much joy.”

“I mean, you should know better by now,” Niall says and the smile on his face grows wider. “It’s like rule number one in A Gang For Dummies.”

“You should probably get me a book like that.” He’s not going to admit it, but Harry could really use a manual on how to do gangs. “But you probably did your fair share of stupid things when you first started.”

Niall shrugs his shoulders. “I got the hang of it quite quickly.” But Harry doesn’t believe him. He can totally see Niall pissing off the wrong guy and getting in trouble for it.

He tries to imagine a sixteen year old Niall. He can totally see him fresh faced, with rosy cheeks, his bleach blond hair and his big blue eyes. No one would think he’s a threat. And maybe back then he really wasn’t.

He can also imagine him being completely reckless, not thinking before doing, not being afraid of the consequences and also getting into a fair amount of trouble for it. Did he drop out of school?

“What are you thinking about, Harold?” Niall’s voice snaps Harry out of his daze.

“It’s Harry.”

Niall ignores him. “Your eyes went all glassy like you went back in time in your mind or something.” He has no idea.

“Just think about how an annoying kid you must have been. I mean, you’re pretty annoying now, too, but back then it must have been even worse.” Harry shrugs as if to say ‘what are you going to do about it.’

“I was a lovely kid, thank you very much. Teachers adored me.” Harry can hardly believe that. Imaginening Niall as the kid who sits in the front, dying to say to right answer is a little harder.

“Yeah, like I’m going to believe that.” Then his face falls serious. “Why did you get kicked out?” He’s been wondering this ever since it has been brought up.

Niall gets up so fast it startles Harry and walks away from him. “We’re not getting into this,” he says as he opens the fridge to take out another beer.

“Why not?”

He turns around to look back at Harry. “It’s getting too personal.” He opens the beer and puts the bottle to his lips. “You said you didn’t want to see me again and then you show up at my door. But you were right, we shouldn’t see each other again. This is way too dangerous.”


	19. the edge

Harry sits silently on the couch. He has the urge to turn around and just stare at Niall. Or talk to him like they had been doing before. But he doesn’t.

And neither does Niall.

Harry can hear him take a sip from the bottle every few seconds. He hears him when he gets up from his chair, opening the fridge and taking out another beer.

“I regret what I said the other day,” Harry says quietly when the silence becomes too much to bear. He doesn’t turn around to look, but he can hear the bottle moving over the surface of the table. “I do want to keep seeing you. I was just scared after you punched me.”

It takes Niall a couple of seconds to answer. “You should be scared. Of Cleaver, of Tommo. Of me.” The last words are so quiet that Harry isn’t sure if he heard them right.

“I’m not scared of you.”

Another silence. Harry counts the sips Niall takes from the bottle. “It should have never gone this far,” Niall says much to Harry’s disappointment. “It was a stupid idea from the start.”

“Do you regret it then?” Harry doesn’t know why he asks the question when he really doesn’t want to hear the answer. 

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Another silence. A few more sips. He gets up again to take another bottle. “Because it’s only getting harder to walk away.”

The answer takes Harry a little by surprise. Would he be able to convince Niall otherwise if he tried hard enough? He knows that Niall is a tough nut to crack, but he clearly has a soft spot for Harry.

“You don’t have to,” Harry says. He hears the chair scraping over the floor and he suspects that Niall is getting up for another drink. But he doesn’t hear the fridge open and a second later Niall appears in his line of vision.

He looks like he’s beating himself up. “Do really think it’s worth it?”

Harry merely nods his head. Niall falls beside him on the couch, their thighs slightly touching. Niall doesn’t seem to pay any attention to it, but it’s all Harry can think about it.

Until he hears the sound of Niall’s voice again. “You haven’t seen what they’re capable of.” Harry doesn’t ask who they is. He’s got a pretty good idea. “They’ve done terrible things. Hell, I’ve done terrible things with them.”

Honestly, Harry doesn’t really care what terrible things that Niall has done. Or the terrible things that might happen when someone finds out what they have been doing.

“I don’t care.”

“You’re going to regret saying that once they do the horrible things to you.” One of Niall’s hands finds Harry’s knee.

Harry smiles at him. “I doubt it.”

Niall shakes his head, but he’s coming closer anyway. Harry can feel his hot breath fanning on his cheek, the warmth of his skin radiating off of him until their lips meet and it’s all Harry can think about it.

Niall doesn’t kiss him very long. “I think I’m really going to get you that book, because you’re a humongous idiot,” he says once he pulls away, but the grin on his face is bright.

“I know,” Harry says. “But you should probably kiss me again.”

Niall chuckles but he does as he’s told. Which probably doesn’t happen very often, Harry realizes and he savours every second of it until it’s gone again.

“Since I told you I am pansexual-” 

“What’s pansexual?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “You know the whole I like a person, not a gender thing.” Niall nods his head. “Well, I was wondering about you. Because I thought you were straight.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too.” And wow, Harry didn’t see that coming since Niall seems so comfortable with the whole kissing a guy situation. 

“But you’re not?”

“I guess not.” Niall shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal. He is weirdly calm about the whole situation. When Harry first realized he liked a boy he had a tiny freakout. But maybe that had something to do with his upbringing.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, why?” Niall throws him a puzzled look as if to say ‘why are you asking me all this obvious questions?’

“Most people have an internal crisis about that.” He can’t count the people on both hands. And that’s just that he knows of.

“Do I look like most people?”

Harry chuckles, because obviously no. “I guess not.”


	20. time heals everything

“Now that we’ve decided we’re not going to run away from each other,” Harry says and Niall chuckles. “I think it’s time to tell me why you got kicked out of your house.”

Harry can feel Niall’s body stiffen next to him and he feels any chance of hearing the story slipping away. “That might make you run away, though,” Niall says. Harry looks at him, but he’s avoiding all eye contact.

Harry realizes there’s much about Niall that he doesn’t know. He knows that Niall’s been arrested once - who is he fooling, of course it has been multiple times - but he hasn’t heard why, though. He doesn’t know how far he’s ever gone into gang-related activity. Harry might have robbed a defenseless fourteen year old, but Niall has probably done much worse.

And yet Harry has never thought of him as a bad person. 

“I won’t,” Harry says. And he really wants to believe himself, but he’s not sure what he’ll do if he finds out that Niall has done some horrible thing to someone innocent.

“I don’t get why you’re so curious, though,” Niall says. His tone has soften again, sounding a little more playful, yet there’s the underlying persistence. “It won’t change anything about the future.”

Harry shrugs. He doesn’t feel like it’s weird that he’s curious. “You know why I got kicked out,” he says, looking at Niall to try and seize his reaction. But he’s face is completely blank. “And I just want to get to know you better. It’s a part of you, isn’t it?”

“It’s a part I’m trying to forget.” He finally looks back at Harry, but there’s nothing in his eyes that can tell Harry what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling.

“It can’t be that bad,” Harry says. “It’s not like you killed someone, did you?” He says it to lighten the mood and he expects Niall to make a remark, something sarcastic or maybe even a joke.

But Niall doesn’t say anything.

Harry’s brain is starting to go in overdrive. Did Niall kill somebody? Would he be capable of doing that? Would he be able to get away with it for so long without the guilty eating him up? Would he ever tell Harry if he did?

He tries to swallow to lump that has formed away, but his throat feels too dry. “Did you kill someone?” He can barely force the words out of his mouth and he watches Niall’s every move closely.

Niall suddenly gets up from the couch and he walks out of Harry’s sight. Harry wants to keep asking, but he guesses this is confirmation enough.

He feels like there’s a ball of ice in the pit of his stomach and it’s slowly spreading over his whole body. He feels cold all over and shivers. All he can see right now is Niall standing over a bloody and mangled body with a knife in his hand and a grin on his face.

“I didn’t kill him,” Niall suddenly says and Harry nearly jumps at the sound of his voice. He didn’t expect him to speak. “I sold him drugs that I knew were mixed with something bad. He OD’ed.”

Harry can hear that he needs to force the last word out of his throat. They sound hoarse and hang thickly in the air. Harry feels like a hand grabbed his lungs and is trying to squeeze out every last bit of oxygen.

“Was he supposed to die?” Harry asks. He’s not sure why he keeps asking questions he doesn’t want to know the answer to, but he can’t seem to stop himself. 

“No.”

Harry lets out a bit of air he didn’t realize he had been holding. At least it wasn’t premeditated murder. “And your parents found out?”

“Yeah,” Niall says. His voice sounds cold and sends a shiver down Harry’s spine. “I was underage. I was arrested, but they’ve never been able to charge me with anything. Everyone knew it was me who sold him the drugs, though.”

Harry thinks over his words. If they’ve never been able to charge him with anything then that means they’ve never found any evidence. Nor has Niall ever confessed.

He’s not sure how to feel about that. He’s sure that if it were him he would have felt so guilty that he would have told the police everything right away. No matter what the sentence. Obviously Niall isn’t wired like that. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

“So now you know.”

Harry slowly nods his head. “Now I know.” He can tell by the tone in Niall’s voice that he expects some kind of reaction, that he’s going to tell him he doesn’t want to see him again after all.

But he doesn’t know how to feel about the whole situation.

On the one hand it’s the guy who was stupid enough to buy drugs in the first place and take too much of it. On the other hand it’s Niall’s fault for not telling him what he’s really selling him. And the guy probably died because the drugs were mixed with something bad.

“So?”

It’s a heavy question. Niall is waiting for a verdict and Harry’s not sure what to tell him. He can tell by the way Niall talks about it that he is still beating himself up for it and living with the guilt is probably punishment enough.

But is it really enough?

Shouldn’t he really have to pay for what he did?

And how can Harry be the judge of that?

“Is that the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

Niall walks back into Harry’s line of vision. He looks pale and Harry isn’t sure whether it is because of what he did or because of how Harry might react. “Yeah,” he says. “By a mile. I’ve stayed away from drugs ever since.”

Harry’s head and heart are arguing. His head is telling him that this should be the end of them. Niall is dangerous and they’ll probably get in trouble at some point. But his heart doesn’t want to stay away from Niall, is literally incapable of doing so.

“Do you still decide you don’t want to run away?”

“I do.”


	21. fucking romeo and juliet

The feeling of someone’s chest rising and falling has never felt so reassuring to Harry before. Niall is pressed against his back and he feels oddly calm. Too calm for what he just discovered about Niall.

The tele is playing but Harry isn’t paying attention to it. Niall is mindlessly tracing patterns on his hip and it’s all he can focus on.

His fingertips are cold on Harry’s warm skin and he shudders from time to time. He hears a breathy chuckle leave Niall’s mouth everytime he does so.

“Can I ask you something personal now?” Harry feels Niall’s breath on his neck and his chest vibrating as he speaks. It’s a funny feeling and Harry tries not to laugh.

“Sure.”

Niall seems distracted by his own fingertips before he speaks. “Are you a virgin?”

“Wow,” Harry says and now he can’t stop himself from laughing. “I thought you were going to ask me something profound.”

Niall laughs. It’s loud and close to Harry’s ear but he doesn’t really mind. “I’m not a very profound person if you hadn’t noticed.”

He had, but at the same time he knows that Niall is a layered person and Harry could probably keep peeling forever.

“You didn’t answer my question, though.”

“Seriously?” Harry says and he mocks being offended. Does Niall really think he hasn’t been able to get laid in his twenty years of existence? “No, I’m not.”

Niall shrugs his shoulders. “You could be.” He is quiet and Harry isn’t sure if this is the end of the conversation. “Have you slept with a guy then?”

There it is. He suspected there was more. 

Harry then remembers that Niall is supposed to be straight. He seems nervous asking the question. He’s been so calm about this whole ‘well, I guess I’m not straight’-thing that Harry is surprised he hasn’t burst yet. But now he finally seems nervous.

Even though he’d never admit it.

“I have,” Harry says. He is paying attention to the way Niall is breathing, but nothing changes. “Are you nervous about us sleeping together?” Harry can’t stop himself from smiling, though.

“Nah,” Niall says and Harry should have expected that. Niall sits up, leaving Harry’s back cold. He turns to grin at Harry. He wiggles his eyebrows. “It’ll be fun.”

___

There’s loud knocking at the door. Harry’s first instinct is to turn around in bed and just sleep some more. But the knocking doesn’t stop and Niall, who was lying besides Harry, is out of bed in seconds.

Harry looks at Niall, who is muttering ‘shitshitshit’ under his breath and putting his clothes back on in a record tempo. And all he can think about is that he had sex with Niall last night.

But the knocking doesn’t stop and Niall is yelling: “I’m coming.” and Harry knows that something is wrong.

“Harry, you gotta go,” Niall says as he throws Harry’s clothes his way. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Then everything falls together. Harry just quite literally slept with the enemy. Last night it was just him and Niall in their bubble. But there is a lot going on on the outside, like them being part of rival gangs.

And the person knocking on Niall’s door is probably one of his little friends.

“You gotta go through the window,” Niall says. Harry knows that he climbed quite a few stairs to get to Niall’s floor. But if he goes through the door he will be dead anyway so he might as well give it a shot.

Niall is about to leave the room but Harry grabs his arm and kisses him.

Niall is grinning at him when he pulls back. “I know you can’t get enough of me, but you’ve got to go or this will quite literally be the death of us.”

Harry takes a step back and starts putting his clothes on. “We’re like fucking Romeo and Juliet,” he mutters on under his breath.

But Niall heard him. “As long as you’re Juliet,” he says as he’s leaving the room. He closes the door behind him. A few seconds later he hears the muffled voices of whoever had been banging on Niall’s door for the past five minutes and Harry knows he has to get out of there.

“I hope it doesn’t end like Romeo and Juliet,” he says before he climbs out of the window.


	22. issues

He’s not sure he did it, but Harry manages to make it from Niall’s floor to the ground in one piece. He looks up to the window for a second and then turns his back to the building and turns this is own flat.

Or well, the gang’s flat.

He’s been living there long enough to sometimes call it his, even though he wishes he didn’t.

As soon as he opens the door to the flat, all conversations fall silent. All eyes are on him and he feels quite uncomfortable until he remembers that the last time he was there is more than twenty-four hours ago.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s back from the dead?” Jiro says in a cold voice and the grin on his face doesn’t predict much good.

Harry just looks at him. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to say.

“What happened to your face?” Ares asks and he’s also grinning. He’s sitting on the couch with the legs of an unknown girl in his lap. “Did you walk into a pole?” He laughs at his own joke and so does the girl.

“No,” Harry mutters, but most of the people seem to ignore him anyway.

He turns his back to the group and starts to make his way towards his bedroom. On the way there he bumps into Cleaver.

At first Cleaver doesn’t seem too happy with Harry’s appearance. Then he notices the bruises on his face.

“I’m not ignoring the fact that you’ve disappeared for a whole day,” he says and his voice sounds surprisingly friendly. “But what happened to your face?”

With everything that happened between him and Niall, Harry had almost forgotten about his encounter with The Golden Cobras. He doesn’t quite fancy telling Cleaver that he got off at the wrong station and got beat up for it.

So he says: “Nothing.”

Cleaver doesn’t seem impressed. “Don’t bullshit me,” he says. “Who did it?”

“The Golden Cobras.”

Cleaver clenches his jaw. Harry remembers what happened when Kaya came back with a bruise on her face and even though he’s no Kaya, Cleaver seems to have a similar reaction.

“It was my fault anyway,” Harry says quickly. He doesn’t fancy another encounter with The Golden Cobras.

Cleaver doesn’t seem to listen, though. Harry’s pretty sure he made up his mind before he even told him who did it.

Cleaver marches past him and into the living room. Harry quickly follows him. “Did no one think to tell me about this?” Cleaver asks, pointing at Harry’s face.

Ares sniggers, not noticing Cleaver’s anger. “He walked into a pole,” he says.

“No he did not,” Cleaver says in a cold voice and grin is immediately wiped from Ares’ face. Harry can’t believe that Cleaver is actually standing up for him.

“We didn’t know,” Kaya say, trying to calm down Cleaver. Everyone knows he has a soft spot for her. “We saw him like three seconds before you did.”

“Who did it?” Jiro asks and Harry’s surprised. All of a sudden he’s not planning ways to murder him.

“The Golden Cobras.”

The three words is all it takes for everyone to get up and pile out of the door. Harry knows exactly where they’re going and he’s not sure if he likes it. On the one hand they’re standing up for him but on the other hand he promised himself to stay far away from that tube station.

Amara is the last one to leave and she pulls him aside. “What the hell were you doing on Golden Cobras territory?” she asks in a hushed whisper.

Harry shrugs and he actually feels stupid. “I got off on the wrong tube station by accident.”

Amara narrows her eyes at him. “You weren’t there with, you know.” She lowers her voice until Harry barely hears her. “Niall Horan.”

“No!” Harry says defensively and he’s actually not lying. “I haven’t seen him since the last time you asked.” That is a lie.

The look on Amara’s face tells him she’s not sure if she believes him and that she’s watching him. But she’s letting it slide for now. “Come on,” she says grabbing his arm.

“Wait,” Harry says, stopping her. “Why are you they going to go beat up The Golden Cobras.”

“Because they beat up you,” Amara says it like it’s the most evident thing.

“I thought they hated me?”

“Who?”

“Cleaver and them.”

Amara chuckles. “I’m not saying they’re your biggest fans, but you’re part of the gang now. We’re loyal to each other.” She smiles at him before pulling him after the rest of the group with her.


End file.
